So it's been a few months already now. A few months since me and the boys decided not to return to Bahrain. Unexpectedly, as we did see ourselves living there for a few more years probably. Today I can say we have settled back in: the boys did a great job adapting to their Belgian schools, we are finding some new routine in our house, even my cold feet seem to have gotten better since I got my husband back home with us... and since I got me those pink fluffy slippers probably.
And yet, it still hurts. I miss Bahrain. I miss my job, I miss the boys' school. I miss the sun, yes I miss the heat... and maybe even a mall or two! I miss the sound of the mosque calling for prayer, I miss ordering in food from almost any possible international cuisine, I miss after school swims, I miss Friday brunch. I miss the smell of the ocean, I miss the peace and the pace and the fact that when you went to the supermarket, you were very likely to meet at least 5 different nationalities before you had left the fruits and vegetables section. I miss knowing people from all around the world, I miss having coffee in my favourite spots, I miss feeling 'at ease' and 'settled'. It's in the little things, mostly, that feeling of being... lost.
But really, most of all, it is our friends I miss... the close ones of course, but also those who weren't even that close to us. Some of you I will never see again, even though I felt we connected in some way or another. And although I know I will meet some of you again, it hurts to know that I can't just come over to have coffee together, that we can't just organize some quick breakfast together, that we won't run into each other in the supermarket.
Of course, we tend to romanticize once we're gone. I do remember the dust, the traffic, the heat when it was hard to breathe, missing family close by... And it hurts knowing that some people we considered to be our friends turned out to be just the opposite of that.
Yet even though it hurts, I am grateful. Look at the experiences we have had! The places we have seen, the people we have met! We have been so blessed to be able to share this experience as a couple, as a family. And oh the joy to be close to family again, to still have those few friends in our lives who have always been there for us, even when we weren't able to see each other or speak to each other on a regular basis...
So, yes, I guess I am no longer an expat mum now and even though our beautiful little Belgium has offered us a warm welcome back... it sort of feels like I need to start re-inventing myself... My head and emotions are still processing who I am now and how to be me in our life as a 'repat' knowing that I am just not the same person as the one that took that plane to Saudi seven years ago. But I am getting there and there will always, always be a piece of our Middle Eastern expat years in me to keep me warm. Yes, even when I'm freezing in my pink fluffy slippers under a cosy blanket looking at the rain pouring down from our windows :).
And yet, it still hurts. I miss Bahrain. I miss my job, I miss the boys' school. I miss the sun, yes I miss the heat... and maybe even a mall or two! I miss the sound of the mosque calling for prayer, I miss ordering in food from almost any possible international cuisine, I miss after school swims, I miss Friday brunch. I miss the smell of the ocean, I miss the peace and the pace and the fact that when you went to the supermarket, you were very likely to meet at least 5 different nationalities before you had left the fruits and vegetables section. I miss knowing people from all around the world, I miss having coffee in my favourite spots, I miss feeling 'at ease' and 'settled'. It's in the little things, mostly, that feeling of being... lost.
But really, most of all, it is our friends I miss... the close ones of course, but also those who weren't even that close to us. Some of you I will never see again, even though I felt we connected in some way or another. And although I know I will meet some of you again, it hurts to know that I can't just come over to have coffee together, that we can't just organize some quick breakfast together, that we won't run into each other in the supermarket.
Of course, we tend to romanticize once we're gone. I do remember the dust, the traffic, the heat when it was hard to breathe, missing family close by... And it hurts knowing that some people we considered to be our friends turned out to be just the opposite of that.
Yet even though it hurts, I am grateful. Look at the experiences we have had! The places we have seen, the people we have met! We have been so blessed to be able to share this experience as a couple, as a family. And oh the joy to be close to family again, to still have those few friends in our lives who have always been there for us, even when we weren't able to see each other or speak to each other on a regular basis...
So, yes, I guess I am no longer an expat mum now and even though our beautiful little Belgium has offered us a warm welcome back... it sort of feels like I need to start re-inventing myself... My head and emotions are still processing who I am now and how to be me in our life as a 'repat' knowing that I am just not the same person as the one that took that plane to Saudi seven years ago. But I am getting there and there will always, always be a piece of our Middle Eastern expat years in me to keep me warm. Yes, even when I'm freezing in my pink fluffy slippers under a cosy blanket looking at the rain pouring down from our windows :).
